Sunday, May 3, 2009

sexy sandwich

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LQpRQh2KSQ

Quizno's newly censored commercial introducing their new "toasty torpedo" pushes the limit on sexual innuendos for a sandwich advertisement. Quizno's has been known for its satirical tongue-in-cheek humor in it's commercials as a vehicle to promote a more long lasting memory of their product in the viewer, yet this advertisement seems a little extreme. Personifying a toaster oven as a sexual man/woman and referring to the sandwich and the cook as both tools of pleasure, it certainly creates a lasting impression.

This commercial sends a mixed message, one of both sexual attraction and of humor. Using sexual innuendos such as "put it in me scott" or "we both enjoyed that," Quizno's adds a sort of awkward sense of humor that if nothing else burns the product into the mind of the viewer. By giving the clear message that this sandwich is sexy, Quizno's makes such a ridiculous claim the audience can't help but laugh and remember the "toasty torpedo."

The oven and the chef, aka scott, both converse throughout the commercial. The toaster oven speaks with a deep, sexy voice and scott takes the role as the unsure and apparently easily convinced young man. Throughout the advertisement continuous sexual innuendos are thrown at the viewer, and we get the feeling that apparently the toaster and scott plan on having sexual relations involving a sandwich, and already have experimented: "scott, I want you to do something" "No way, I'm not doing that again. That burned." We both enjoyed that." Yet through both sexual dialogue and a classic pornography-style music, the watcher can't help but be interested by this off-the-wall ad.

Quizno's doesn't have much logic in this advertisement; for the most part it is sending the message that their new sandwich is sexy and if you have one you'll be eating something sexy, which isn't very strong persuasion. Yet perhaps it is the lack of logic that makes the commercial so alluring. By combining such opposites as sandwiches and sex and displaying them both through awkward conversation between an inanimate object and a chef, Quizno's certainly lacks logic, but nothing is more memorable than something that perplexes, and this commercial certainly perturbs the watcher. So, by creating such an odd mix and therefore a memorable impression of their new product, perhaps Quizno's was being logical after all

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bohemian Rhapsody- EPIC

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesnt really matter to me,
To me

Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now Ive gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didnt mean to make you cry-
If Im not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

Too late,my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Bodys aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-Ive got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I dont want to die,
I sometimes wish Id never been born at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Hes just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-cant do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows....


Composer and lead vocalist Freddie Mercury for "Bohemian Rhapsody" has chosen to never disclose the true meaning of the song, and has asked all those involved in it's production to remain silent as well. But through a thorough analysis of the songs six sections; introduction, ballad, guitar solo, opera, hard rock, and outro; and details from the life of the composer, some things about this epic tribute to the musical community can be said.

Mercury's background, especially concerning his sexuality, have taken an obvious impact on "Bohemian Rhapsody." The very title links the idea of bohemianism; the artistic ideal of free love and the idea of a life lived on the margins of society, which can be directly connnected to Mercury's homosexuality. The song in and of itself is almost a cry for understanding, a plea to belong.

The introduction of the song includes faint voices coupled with simple piano which adds to the effect it pursues to place on the listener, and that is the questions Mercury himself has about life and his place in it. Is this the real life/Is this just fantasy/Caught in a landslide/No escape from reality. The feelings and emotions conveyed through these lyrics and the very dream-like and melodic nature of the music itself bring about the ideas of acceptance, and whether or not one can really belong in this world. These ideas link back to Mercury's homosexuality, and perhaps even further the idea of loneliness that comes with such a disquieting trait.

Beginning with a more serious tone provided by a heavy bass, we enter the ballad section of the song. At this point the listener hears what seems like almost the confession of a guilty conscience, and one can assume that at this point Mercury and his mother are working to come to terms with his sexuality. By repeating his supposed lack of care about the situation, the hero in fact emphasizes his interest in the situation at hand, which, from the lyrics and serious tone of the song provided by Mercury's lone voice and faint music, is in fact a serious occurence. Mama just killed a man/Put a gun against his head/Pulled my trigger now he's dead Mercury specifically sings "my trigger" because he takes the blame on himself. He feels the pain of his mother and brings his sexuality and himself as the only reason. He goes on to say Didn't mean to make you cry, and then states that he is leaving. At this point in the song's plot we can assume that the hero is leaving home from utter shame of himself and what he is. Too late,my time has come/Sends shivers down my spine/Bodys aching all the time This part of the ballad can be linked to the feelings of puberty and any normal sexual blossoming, yet in the case of homosexuality, it only adds to the fear and hatred that the hero feels for his body. The section ends with very fatalistic lyrics as Mercury sings that he "doesn't want to die," but "sometimes i wish i'd never been born at all."

The guitar solo follows the same structure as the ballad, in that in starts very soft but moves quickly to fast-paced, almost nervous sound, as if the music in itself is anxious to hear what occurs next. Then, all of a sudden, the solo breaks off and is replaced by the simple piano beat once more. This symbolizes the hero's confused mind finally coming to rest and absolution, and moving from the hectic experiences with his mother to the dream-like state where we first heard the piano.

The opera section follows, and the most noticeable part is the mentioning of various names in a repeated fashion, breaking the rhythm of the song and giving the listener the feeling of a struggle. The most prominent name shouted by the feuding symphonies is "Bismillah," which derives itself from the Islamic Qur'an and is part of a phrase which concerns itself with God and obeying his wishes. This brings in the idea of religion and therefore some sort of evil. Mercury at this point, from the evidence provided, is fighting with himself over the morality of his being. We will not let him go/Let him go, these lyrics are sung by what can be assumed to be both sides of morality, or in fact angels and demons as they feud over the wretched soul that is Mercury. "We will not let him go" is sung by a much more masculine and lower choir while "Let him go" is sung by a feminine and almost angelic choir, which coincides well with the idea of the hero's soul being in constant chaos. The section ends with Beezlebub has a devil set aside for me. Beezlebub is another name for Satan himself, and Mercury at this point is outwardly recognizing the immorallity of his sexual preferences, but how he sings this particular lyric does not convey a sense of sadness, but more of defiance.

This feeling of defiance is greatly stressed in the proximal hard rock section, where it seems the the hero has finally come to terms with himself and may even be considered proud through the very sound of Mercury's voice as he no longer whispers or sings melodically, but shouts and screams in a victorious fashion. The music too becomes heavier and a sense of rebellion is imposed on the listener. So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye/So you think you can love me and leave me to die/Oh baby-cant do this to me baby. These lyrics refer back to the earlier ballad section, and to the mother of the hero. Instead of holding fast to his prior stance of self-loathing, the hero takes a stronger stance and fights his own mother, whom he realizes was the only real source of his pain through her utter spite of his sexuality. Just gotta get out/Just gotta get right out of here ends the hard rock section, and adds to the sense of the hero's leaving of his prior self and situation as her pursues a better like of self-acceptance. It should be noted that Mercury was never recorded to ever feud with his mother over the subject of his homosexuality, but "mama" can be linked to his ex-wife Mary, which would add greater meaning to the lyrics, especially the final two lines of this section in referrance to his marriage.

The song ends just as it began in a quiet and dream-like outro, but instead of a feeling of building up towards a climax, the listener feels a quiet dying down and resolution to everything that has happened. Mercury repeats, Nothing really matters/nothing really matters to me, yet at this point it is not so much a question or cover-up, but a acceptance of a way of life. It is sung in a quiet yet content tone which leaves the listener with a feeling of closure. The line in itself is bohemianistic, and coincides with the idea of homosexuality and how to live with it. Throughout the whole song we hear the story of a blossoming outcast and his confrontation with just what makes him different, yet we also take a closer look at the troubled life of Freddie Mercury, and just what makes this song and it's lyrics so meaningful to the masses

Friday, February 20, 2009

the hideous butter and how veggies saved the day... or did they?

I looked to mother, eyes desiring butter
She merely looked at the plate and saw all the green
Her disposition stood in its usual uniform
No matter how much my eyes would scrunch
She commanded me to no further loiter
My mouth must now become unfastened

I soon found that my pants had to be unfastened
Even before I tasted the delicious butter
I indeed did refrain from the usual loiter
On the dish there lay no sign of green
My mother's mouth no longer in a scrunch
Her pose in quite a different manner than the uniform

But I soon find myself leaving from the uniform
My ignorant heart now had it's lock unfastened
With tears, my eyes now began to scrunch
I had forgotten all about that beloved butter
My teeth now lined with green
This new passion for veggies would not loiter

I now found that no part of my body could loiter
It took a better form than the previous, sluggish uniform
All thanks to my little new friends of green
My tight joints were now oiled and unfastened
No thanks to that hideous, sluggish butter
I would no longer squat before a screen and cause my eyes to scrunch

My mother too, soon lost her wrinkles from the usual scrunch
She never had to remind me not to loiter
We no longer kept any butter
Her pose never returned to the earlier uniform
Various veggies were the key that caused our lives to become unfastened
Those brilliant hues of green

In my eyes, mind, body, all that lies is green
Yet again my body would scrunch
As I found all my confidence had become unfastened
My mind once more began to loiter
Eyes returning to old, glazed uniform
I returned to the thought of butter

All stature unfastened, could not manifest green
Butter was the gold for which my guts would scrunch
Yet I did not loiter now, nothing comes from uniform

Friday, February 13, 2009

you found me, lucky you

Mmm mmm mmm you know I love that haute chocoloate
Its the perfect compliment to my silver ice
Im always in motion, and I can tell from your heartbeat
This wild thing is ready for the paradise inferno

Its like I'm black, and shes the darklights
It'll be at least a week before she gets a recovery
But you know I'll reload by tomorrow night
That cupcake is going to experience my essence

Lets avoid that horizon
Make it more than just a flash of fuchsia
Lets share more than just a taxi
You know I don't wear that cheap Calvin Klein

I'm not talking about a chapel of love
More like diesel fuel on a mermaid's chest
Ready to ignite and seeming like fantasy
I'm a one man show, and you know you can't resist me

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Mountain Lodge

sentinel- a person stationed to keep watch
dissever- to seperate
musker- street musician, performer
halcyon- undisturbed, peaceful
libation- the act of pouring liquid as a sacrifice
alfresco- outdoors
sui generis- unique
blackguard- scoundrel`zeitgeist- spirit of the time
peccadillo- small offense, misdemeanor

My nostrils, a constant sentinel, dissever from my eyes what i see and what i know to be. Those halcyon scents of swirling pine, alfresco of my wooden borders. Yet my fear of libation that would be sure to come from my woodland frolic, i blame the zeitgeist and the peccadillo becomes an anvil on my shoulders. The sweet allure of muskers and their flowing vibrations reveals an even greater siren. Sui generis situations. Frigid lovely. I sit a blackguard to nothingness, so i feel the forewarning of a cold door handle. A blur of green and ice, yet ever so deifinitive.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Garden of Sound

Christopher John Cornell has lived a life centered around music, and has inspired millions to do the same. Known as one of the founding fathers of the grunge genre, Cornell's band Soundgarden was started in 1984 and from then forward he etched a name for himself in all popular media. Recognized for their hypnotic sound and eerie melodies, Soundgarden's new and influential sound took the mainstream happy go-lucky by storm, and created a following comparable to that of popular rap artists today. In 1988 the band signed with SST Records, and releashed their first album, "Ultramega OK," which received attention immediately, and the band was soon granted a grammy and a nomination for best metal performance in 1990. In 1991, Soundgarden released their most recognized album, "Badmotorfinger." The three top songs from the list were "Outshined" and "Rusty Cage," which would later be covered by Johnny Cash. These two along with "Jesus Christ Pose" topped the charts. However, it was the third that created the most controversay. The uprising against the song and it's graphic music video soon resulted in its cancellation from any kind of broadcast. Soon after, however, the band released their debut national album, "Superunknown," which gained immediate attention and was given a 4 of 5 stars in a rolling stones review. Cornell never let the sucess to his head, however, and strived to focus soley on his music. Soon sadly, he could no longer do this with Soundgarden, and in 1997, the band disbanded.

Having shaked the brooding tones of Grunge, Cornell soon started a solo project with a much more uplifting tone. His work was nominated for best male performance, but it left many confused with his sudden transition. Cornell's trouble with love may be the underlying causes of his moodiness, which reflects on to his musical style. Nevertheless, he was soon recruited to Audioslave. The guitarist, Tom Morello, had this to say of his first reaction to Cornell's voice: "He stepped to the microphone and sang the song and I couldn't believe it. It didn't just sound good. It didn't sound great. It sounded transcendent. And... when there is an irreplaceable chemistry from the first moment, you can't deny it." With a whole new crew, Cornell worked on a completely new sound, revealing another facet of his musical personality. Yet underneath all of the sucess, rumors arose of Cornell checking himself into a drug rehabilitation center, and band members reported that during the recording of the first album, he seemed like a completely different person. Stricked by extreme depression, his wife soon left him, and he fell into alcoholism.

But by the second album, just by listening to his music one could see things were getting better. Cornell verified that things were looking up, but critics reported that although he had a much stronger voice, his lyrics bordered the ridiculous. Compared to musicians of this day an age, however, Cornell's songwriting abilities would be widely accepted. This hints to his innate correspondence to music and exactly how much it can entail. His lyrics are described as haunting, existential poetry. They were characterized by a cryptic approach, and often referred to themes of existentialism, love, hedoism, spirituality, and Christianity.

Cornell's restlessness soon led to the disbanding of Audioslave, and soon he resorted back to his solo career, where he remains today. He is recognized as one of the most influential artists in the history of music, influencing bands such as Nirvana and Pearljam, while rubbing much of his distinctive sounds on many new artists today, primarily those described as punk, which holds its roots in the grunge genre Cornell had such a large hand in creating. Along with the creation of grunge, Cornell is also recognized as one of the few performers to ever hit a A5 above high C. All of this, coupled with his ranging musical abilities and profound lyrics, Chris Cornell has carved his name into the stone of popular culture.

In my eyes
Indisposed
In disguise
As no one knows
Hides the face
Lies the snake
The sun
In my disgrace
Boiling heat
Summer stench
neath the black
The sky looks dead
Call my name
Through the cream
And Ill hear you
Scream again

Black hole sun
Wont you come
And wash away the rain
Black hole sun
Wont you come
Wont you come

Stuttering
Cold and damp
Steal the warm wind
Tired friend
Times are gone
For honest men
And sometimes
Far too long
For snakes
In my shoes
A walking sleep
And my youth
I pray to keep
Heaven send
Hell away
No one sings
Like you
Anymore

Hang my head
Drown my fear
Till you all just
Disappear